IMAGINATION AND METAPHOR: GRIEF'S BEST CONNECTION

When I get where I'm going

On the far side of the sky

The first thing that I'm gonna do

Is spread my wings and fly

I'm gonna land beside a lion

And run my fingers through his mane

Or I might find out what it's like

To ride a drop of rain

Brad Paisley:  When I get where I'm going

I enjoy my walks in the rain.  I have since I was a child, but more so since this song came into my life as a tribute to my nephew.  Since hearing these lyrics, I have often imagined Ben riding those raindrops and I want to be surrounded by them.  Every raindrop matters to me now, because it might just be one of those drops of moisture that will carry my nephew to me.  

One of my favourite creative gifts for memorials has been assembling a photo collection of the person's life and putting that to music.  When I did Ben's memorial video, The picture that matched up to the line ""To ride a drop of rain", was a picture of him riding his dirt bike on the gravel road during a cattle drive.  So since then, when those lyrics resurface in my mind, I can imagine Ben on his dirt bike coming down amid the raindrops.  

Brad Paisley wrote a metaphor, not a creed.  He imagined what it would be like for him after he died.  That is beautiful.  But what ruins the whole song is if someone were to take his words and interpret them as a religious belief or a doctrine.  Brad Paisley has no idea what "it" will look like after his last breath

So much pain and so much darkness

In this world we stumble through

All these questions I can't answer

And so much work to do

My best connection to my loved ones is my imagination.  My pictures change with every person.   There is a freedom that came for me when I laid aside the doctrine of "Heaven" and just let my imagination run wild.  I was accountable to no one in my journey of grief.  I could wonder and dream and find myself in the most wonderful places with the people I wanted to be with. 

I have a lot of stories in how I navigated the death of my nephew, this is only one.  I think the harder the loss, the more and different ways I have needed to connect.  

And I'll leave my heart wide open

I will love and have no fear

These are words I need now, in life, so I embrace them for now.  Poetry is like that.  The poet might imagine his words as a picture of the afterlife, and the reader will take those words and interpret them to matter to her now.  I like that.  I want to experience those moments in life where I can be free to leave my heart wide open and where Love drives out fear.  

I'm gonna walk with my grandaddy

And he'll match me step for step

And I'll tell him how I've missed him

Every minute since he left

And then I'll hug his neck

“Come back. Even as a shadow, even as a dream.” ― Euripides