WHY DATES MATTER SO MUCH.

He had the job of rebuilding the chimney on one of the old buildings at the campus of my high school.  I just happened to be with him when he needed a couple of extra hands.   I was standing on a dormer of the roof and with welding gloves as my only PPE, it was my job to catch the bricks from the chimney as he threw them my way.  This was during the late eighties.  Safety was all in how you behaved, not so much in what you wore.  

What I remember that day was the confidence and trust he placed in me. This wasn't a ballgame on the ground, we were playing catch with bricks on the roof of a three story building.  

Today would be my Dad's ninetieth birthday.  I had this date marked on my calendar with a big 90.  I wanted to do something to remember him and to honour this day.  I had hoped to spend the day with my whole family, but that plan fell through because today now has me going to the vet hospital with my cat.  So no family gathering and I am left to wonder how today will be spent.  

Why do dates matter so much?  As of next January, it will be fifteen years since Dad died.  That is a lot of dates gone by, both birthdays and different anniversaries.  As I understand, not everyone is a stickler for the dates.  Remembering is something done when that person's memory comes to mind.  After so much time has passed, the dates go by and life goes on.  Yet, to me, the dates still matter.  

I have heard people talk about their missing loved ones like this.  "Not a day goes by when I don't think about him/her."  It sounds romantic and sentimental, but is it real for everyone? Some days go by for me and I don't think of Dad.  If I don't glance at his picture, or have a memory, a whole day can go by and my thoughts don't go his way.  That is why dates matter to me and today matters to me.  I have a whole day when I can focus on remembering my Dad.  

As I write this, it is about 5:30 in the morning.  I don't know how I will spend the day today.  How will I invite my Dad into my day that will make it significant.  I hope I can find a few things to do as the day goes by.  

I may have tears when I see a picture of me on top of a building tossing bricks with my dad but it is pure joy as I remember that day.  As I look at the picture I find there is so much joy, and that joy is going to come with tears too.  I'm okay with that.  

"The pain will pass, but the sadness will remain."  Bill Warwick